Notes on Nothing

Random Notes:

Water:  it's good.  It's necessary.  It's drinkable, even in third world countries.  Yes, by and large we have been able to drink water directly from the tap, and even in some cases directly from the stream.  No giardhea, no typhoid, no worms (that we can detect) and no diarrhea--yes, I said it, zero diarrhea.  Clean bills of health and clean intestinal tracts.  I'm not sure that I've loved the water anywhere else as much as I've loved it here (expectations clearly influencing my degrees of love).  Hail to the Agua.

The Breadkins Diet:  despite attempts to the contrary, including eating copious amounts of beef, lamb, cheese and Dulce de leche, I've been getting skinnier.  It's rather inexplicable since This diet (in the eating sense, not the Jenny Craig sense) I've been on has been dominated not by the above, but rather by their oh-so-complimentary sidekick, The Bread, also known as The Flour, The Egg and The Salt--the holy trinity, if you will.  I'm not sure if you've heard of this man, mr. Atkins, but I have and I'm here to let you know that not only is he a charlatan, a fraud, a con man even (it's well known that a diet high in meat content is bad for your salud, or health) but that his choice of con is not even the best way in which to lose those holiday pounds (or kilos, if you prefer).  No, in fact a diet high in bread, cheese and meat (we'll forget how good/bad for your health this diet may be) is actually the most efficient, not to mention most enjoyable way in which to lose weight; And best of all I'm living proof of this success and I'm hear to spread the gospel of Breadkins.  So, don't walk, but run to your local bakery.  Grab croissants, cakes, sourdoughs and wheats (if you like), garlic bread, cookies and the like.  Eat away and slim down each day. *

* paid for expressly by funds donated by Weber, Betty Crocker, All-Purpose, The American Union of Flour Producers and Hostess.  Nothing in this add is approved by the FDA or claimed to be true.  Buy and eat at your own risk.

Third World Country Designation:  I'm confused here, which is definitely symptomatic of my lack of knowledge in this field, but Argentina as a third world country (so ignorant in fact that I'm not 100% sure of the validity of this statement) absolutely baffles me.  Yes, there are no Del Tacos (this would be my initial requirement for 1st world; sorry middle America and a handful of other places) and there are only a few MacDonalds, but for all intents and purposes the place FEELS like a first world country.  There are homes with roofs, doors, windiws, 
running water and even indoor toilets, and best of all most people seem to have these fancy accomodations (I've seen 10 times the amount of homeless in San Francisco. Beth thinks that's an understatement.)  Electricity and water are readily available, though admittedly electricity in the summer seems to be like a constant rolling blackout.  Most people seem to be gainfully employed, except perhaps during siesta, but who am I to judge taking naps and eating lunch for 4 hours mid-day.  I mean, they even require car insurance for all drivers and seatbelts are mandatory (though the only time I saw them warn was when Beth's cousin inlaw Jose drove past the policia and put his on).  Their economy functions well enough to provide this standard of living, yet it's categorized as a third world country.  They have autoplants, big brands, presumably with factories and mechanization.  In fact, they even have technology here that is yet to grace the states: MP4's and MP5's can be found in all major urban areas, though we've yet to experience the wonders of such new and exciting things.  Point is, aRgentina as third world pais is baffling and mysterious,  maybe they should have the third grader who makes these decisions come on down here, try some Dulce de leche and reassess their ranking.

(Note of the Note: If in fact Argentina is categorized as a 2nd world country, please dismiss the previous rant, as a developing country rating seems fitting, if not fair.)
 
What In The World (aka Que En El Mundo):  Just wanted to point out the translation of this phrase and let you all know I'm hearing this approximately 3 times a day; it's beths newest and most favoritist saying; That is, next to "Jason, you're annoying me," translation witheld.

Hair:  Let me first paint you a hyothetical picture.  Imagine a man, perhaps a young man.  He's been camping for many days now, but is rather clean, considering.  He's also recently showered.  Now he is in a bathroom, but neither showering nor using the toilet, simply washing his hands after blowing his nose.  Now imagine this serene picture shattered into a thousand little pieces.  One second the man is alone, peacefully washing and the next second a woman of unknown origins is standing in the bathroom explicitly for men.  No, this is not the earth shaterer.  This same woman glances at said man andcontinues her journey in, clearly not recognizing the man for what he is.  Not until

She recognizes those wall-mounted recepticles they call urinals does she realize her mistake.  At that point she once again glances up and sees that faint five o'clock shadow on the man's face, turns around red faced and half runs half walks out of the mens restroom.  The man turns to the mirror, takes a long, deep look and that's when it hits him, she left because of the urinals not because she saw the man.  He looks left, then right, he even tries to look at the back of his head in that weird way people experiment with mirrors as if they were three dimensional and he too notices then what it took only the woman an instant to recognize, he looks like an 80s lesbian.

I now must admit that that 80s lesbian is me.  My hair is long, it's puffy, it looks a bit like my uncle Roy's, but mostly it looks like a perfectly uncoifed 80s lesbian's hairdoo (think Charlize Theron in Monster).  Just thought you should know.

- Pictures:  should be up in the next few days.