Medellin. Med-a-lynn Med-a-yeen. Med-a-jeen. Finally.
Eccentricities Include: most identifiable Colombian artist known for outlandish and dissproportionately sized bipods and four leg-ge-ders. Famous politicians doubling as drug dealers (Pablo Escobar). Difficult to pronounce name due to dialectecal differences within Colombia. A raging nightlife scene for backpackers, but a reputation for seediness for said late-nighters.
Things-that-are-surprising-but-not-particularly-noteworthy: Many of Colombias main food stuffs originate not in Bogota, but Medellin. Bendeja Paisa, as well as any other Paisa (name for those native to Medellin) meal--the predominate namesake of any food outside of that found on the street--purportedly bores resemblance to the food of medellin, thus making Medellin the culinary capital of Colombia...my favorite type. Unfortunately I didn't know this upon arrival and only glimpsed the best and most inspired food of Colombia. Meaning most of what i ate leaves much to be desired. The metro in medellin is not very large owing to the relatively small space the citys center incorporates. However, it was second only to Santiago, Chile in its cleanliness, ease of use and general enjoyment upon embarking/disembarking its rails. (2). And, lastly, weekends and holidays see the partial closure of one of the citys main arteries for the sole purpose of allowing bikers, walkers and, the un-oft seen, rollerbladers to have unfettered access to a car-free street. Medellin: an unheralded bastion of environmental progressivism. Bonus: Vacationers there include Californians, Euros and mid-west copilots with liberal leaning Spanish fluency.(3)
Geographical/Topographical/Climatical Info: the city feels small, is sandwiched between two mountain ranges (it's actually in a valley in the same mountain range, but for visual purposes...) on the northern-eastern-central highlands, thus higher than the coast, but lower than Bogota. It's known as having the hottest women, the mildest climate and a reputation that proceeds itself (none of which, and I say this in all honesty, we witnessed. Not exceptional women, rained a lot and What reputation? (4) This is why 1 and 1/2 days does not do a city justice.)
Things-to-do: botanical gardens. Botero park, stacked (sometimes quite literally depending on the statue) (5) full of botero sculptures, an exploritorium reportedly based partially on SF's (we skipped this), a cerro overlooking medellin with a recreated (read: fake, useless tourist trap, with nice views and crappy ice cream)) village at the top and a supposed excellent discoteca scene, which we missed because Beth and I for the first time since Rio were drunk enough to want to go out to da'club, but ended up flying a bit too high, and crashed before we could mobilize the troops. Probably a great more to-do's, but those were ours in this city of perpetual spring with a reputation of indulgences and pleasures which we recused ourselves from partaking in...
1) Botero is columbias version of Diego riviera, I believe, Beth disagrees, that he ripped off the guy. But, as the Neil diamond impersonator from my dads wedding said, it's not impersonation, but rather paying homage to...(fix that)And, admittedly, I enjoyed me some botero and HIS big ladies to Diego, Frida and theirs. So, if he improved, I guess I approve, maybe even to a level of guilty pleasure. Google Botero Horse, you won't be dissapointed.
(2) This isn't saying much because we've only encountered four metro-style train systems in South America, but take my word for it, their system is nice.
(3) Kim, beths sister, also puked on the bus from bogota. Her bag still smells and her vomittung had a stand by me impression, threatening a storm of regurgitation, stymied only by beths quick-thinking newspaper-on-the-floor action.
(4) Some American told us " everything you hear about medellin (dramatic pause), it's true.". We were too ashamed to admit we'd heard nothing, so we feigned excitement and changed the topic. Now, we still have no clue.
(5) People are pervs. Some of the sculptures, located in an outdoor park and accessible to all, had severely warn spots seemingly due to excessive touching by visitors. Unsurprisingly, all reachable (the statues are large) breast, penii (pluralized?) and toes were warn so thin that the colors had been transformed. I believe in the preservation of art, as such my solution to this problem is the installation of a warning sign informing all that the excessive rubbing of statues eventually causes blindness. And if that doesn't work, something condemning all that inappropriately touch statues to the 7th level of hell. Catholic countries have easy solutions.
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| So as not to disappoint, here are two Botero butts. The top clearly getting her freakshow on, while the bottom just simply has some Bunz, capital B. |
From the title of this post, I was disappointed to not find out more about Botero butts. For instance are Botero butts "down to get the freakshow on". Or, are South American anacondas similar to their Northern American cousins in that they don't want none unless they got bunz?
ReplyDeleteThese are the serious questions I ponder everyday. Jason also looks stoked about molesting that Botero woman as well.