Shit Can(ned)

Welcome to South America, where bidet is spelled r-u-b-b-e-r-m-a-i-d.

Yes, we´ve landed. We are alive and so far I´ve only had to use this once, whcihmeans that Pizzaro´s Revenge (Because clearly the conquistador has reason for revenge--really it´s because I´m not smart enough to reference a well recognized Incan/Amazonian leader) has yet to strike. praise be to allah.

Our first day was met with an unexpected reciprocity fee at teh airport-which Beth wanted to be the picture for this entry, seeing as I tought we should turn around and head back to America if they didn´t want to let us in for free and since the fee basically cuts our trip in half. Needless to say, we did not ask to go back to estados unidos. I sucked it up and we decided to go against the wishes of the information woman and take teh $2 peso numero ocho (8) bus instead of a pricey taxi/shuttle. Conveniently/fatefully/Our-first-experience-with-jingoism-ly (Yes, I´ve always wanted to be jingoed), the numero ocho picked up a few locals and left us and a couple of Slovenians by the wayside (no, they were not from Koper and do not know any Bibles). A taxi cab then preyed upon us, by agreeing to our price (yeah we lowballed the taxi guy from BA who smokes Marlboros and had the dirtier fingenails than cuba gooding jr.--give us a break, we´ve got to stretch a peso out these days, unless you all want us back on your couches/spare beds) at the airport, while later reneging on our sweet deal.

The trip took almost two hours with him asking for directions from stangers twice and grabbing my map to figure out which street to turn on. It was fun though, we got along great, I speak no Spanish, he spoke no Englishand yet we managed to talk the entire time, the apex of which was me asking for ¨comida bueno,¨him replying with ¨carnitas,¨ and me verifying what that meant by oinking and repeating si over and over until he responded. That´s how you communicate ladies and gentlemen.

BEth, to her incredible nature, has been a delight. It´s hot, there are no veggies anywhere, so far not one bean and cheese burrito (outside this one at LAX) and she´s been forced to pee on a plane now twice, plus she´s spending 24-7 with yours truly, yet she still has time to inspire teh most excited for this trip so far, lunch. Cheese, crackers, seemingly homemade salami (for me, she yet to jump through that hoop--that´s for tomorrow) and the kicker, two giant beers. They have this deal here called the 6X4 where you buy 6 beers beers of 1.5 liters each--think 40´s-- but only get charged for 4 of them. I´m convinced that this is the greatest deal in the world, even better than the $5 footlong deal. Absolutely amazing. Needless to say, after more than 20 hours of travel and 2 hours in these sweat boxes they call taxis, one beer later and I´m drunk.

Alright, I´m bored writing this, which means that you, reader who made it this far, because you don´t have a job, don´t have anything better to do, or are wasting tax payers dollars, are probably bored too. Either way, buenos dias and I want you to know this, apparently it is ok to drink the water in Buenos Aires.

Sweat Meter: Beth dropped a trickle of sweat for god´s sake. 100% and rising.